Ode To Life
A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS
It doesn’t matter where I write this
what matters is that I get it out.
I spent much of my life in survival mode
performing to be loved
I learned
powerfully and profoundly
that I was both ‘too much’ and ‘not enough’
it touched me.
it hurt me.
it scarred me.
(and maybe we’re all a little bit broken)
fast forward twenty-something years, and
I’m still unlearning these patterns.
I’m still discovering who I am
beyond
who or what
I felt I should — or needed to — be
my one wish?
I pray I never stop.
who I am now is not who I am going to be.
this is the work.
and the more I learn
the more I realise how little I know
and how little ‘knowledge’ itself matters
it’s just noise
what matters is
how deeply you let yourself love and be loved
and how much you let yourself explore
I am returning
I am journeying
I am humbled
always.
Life, you’re a fucking fantastic lover
(and teacher)
thank you for giving me everything I need
in every moment
at exactly the right moment
and for treating me with
so much love and compassion.
I O U 1
(unsurprisingly, I’m yours)
Rachel x