On Cowardice

Some thoughts (preliminary):

• It’s human nature

But what is it?

• Fear masquerading as avoidance

And what does this mean? What does it do?

• Undermine our own integrity. Debase us as human beings. Sacrifice our “values” at the altar of What-We-Are-Prepared-To-Accept-As-Realism.

We are all cowards, sometimes. We all hold ourselves back, despite knowing not only that we “should” do otherwise, but that we want to. When we go against what we believe is right, we lose ourselves in the process.

Such is life.

She sighs.

But no.

It doesn’t have to be.

This is what I believe.

I believe it because I have to, for me. For my own personal integrity. I don’t care if it’s ridiculous, if I myself am ridiculed for it, if this affects the extent to which I am “taken seriously” — which, at this present moment, is a lost cause anyway- because I have nothing to prove. This is not for you.

This is personal.

And yes, it’s on the internet; plenty of “personal” things are. Inverted commas optional, a la my favourite Atwood quote: ‘context is all’.

This is personal for a different reason, though.

This is personal because it’s real.

What I want, above all else, is to make the world a little more real. To connect people with themselves and one another in a way that is genuinely meaningful and brings them happiness. Of course, this is — or can be — painful too; that’s part of the process, core to what it means to be human. If you’re not prepared to accept that, then there’s nothing you can do. You’re closed, and thus the world is closed to you. Cowardice is reciprocal. It takes two to tango.

What do you want?

What do you need?

What can you give?

And what would you do if someone actually cared enough to listen?